MURDER AT MASONIC

SPRING IS TRULY HERE—the azaleas are BLOOMING. They are several weeks late, but they are blooming….Hooray!!!!!!!!!!











Murder at Masonic

I bought my first Murder Mystery in a box at a yard sale (actually, as a Connecticut Yankee, it is a “tag” sale) for $.50. It was called the Grapes of Frath produced by How to Host a Murder. I invited eight friends and relatives. We had a pretty good time. In addition to the mystery, I had a meal that was theme related. Everything glitzy and glamorous.The setting was a luxury yacht in the 1920’s.

Costuming was minimal. My cousin portrayed a financial genius. To prove to all of us that he was financially sound, he bought a shirt from Wal-Mart and, like Minnie Pearl, left the price tag on it. Sorry, Sheri, I can’t remember what you wore. Deb and Dan came with some old timey clothes. Bill and Jean came casual. But the stars of the costumes were Mary and Jim. Mary portrayed a Russian countess and wore the mostest tackiest (I know the grammar is poor, but it was so bad it needs extra exaggeration) green flowered polyester gown with a tiara and lottttts of bling. It was sooooo appropriate. So gooosh! And Jim, portraying the ship’s captain, wore an even more outrageous pair of a kind of plaid patch-work quilt slacks with a red and blue stripped shirt and a blue blazer. He wore a bunch of medals on his jacket.

One of my guests thought it would be fun to do for our organization. We quickly got eight volunteers, set up a menu and played that mystery again. Everyone had soon much fun that they asked to have another one the following year. We did one called, “the Good, the Bad and the Guilty.” Then, they wanted one the following year. And, it looks as though, a fourth murder will take place this fall.

I purchased the next two online. They were also by How to Host a Murder. Again, I invited eight guests to my home (different from the first batch—this was before my organization wanted to do another one). Our meal included coleslaw and barbeque pork.  The victim, Judge Waylon Payne, had invited his guests (suspects) the Malevolent Seven to a barbeque at his home, so, theme-wise, it was apropos.

We had appetizers, “played” two rounds, ate the “real” food, and “played” the last two rounds.” Over dessert, the mystery was solved. This format and food has been followed for both the home version and the crowd pleaser.

John, now Master of his Masonic Lodge, was one of my guests at this murder set in the Wyoming Territory in 1881. He filed the whole thing away. When he became Master, he wanted to do some “different” things for the group. So, he put out the word to his officers and members and quickly got the eight characters he needed.

A committee was appointed to work on a meal, pretty much the same as we had used the first two times. Grub getters and servers included Dave, Shirley, Louise, Christina, Lynne, Candace, and Merylee.Table decorations included stuffed horses, cattle, western bronze bookends and other western chatskas.

The props were many/  They included a dead horse in the road, a miniature gallows with eight nooses (made by Steve), the cemetery, Helena's cattle ranch and lots of gold (candy wrapped in gold foil).

Read the names carefully. The characters were

Butch Chastity (Beth) -- Legendary the first lady of outlaws. Her all-woman gang is oft referred as the Amazons of the American West. There’s nothing coy or dainty about Butch. She can drink her fellow outlaws under the table; she can hold her own in a game of poker; she can rob a stagecoach in record time; and she can kill a man just as soon as look at him—and often does. In her secret hide-out, a place called the Hole in the Mud, Butch plans the most daring heists, including her many famed train robberies. It has been rumored that Butch has gotten away with more gold than any outlaw alive.

P’elvis Swagarin (Jeff) -- A mysterious lone gunslinger who rides into some dusty frontier western town. Solemn, poker-faced, bowlegged—he’s a cowboy’s cowboy. He was born Peter Elvis Swagarin but is known as P’elvis to those who know him. He’s a man with no belongings but the shirt on his back, his gun and his saddle…a man who sleeps beneath the icy stars, a horse his only companion. P’elvis appeared out of the prairie heat just two days ago, and ever since he arrived, the whole town of Roadkill has been whisperin in hushed tones, wondering who he is and what he wants….

Helena Handcart (Helena pronounced like the capital of Montana—Hellina) (Lynne) -- Matriarch of the Handcart clan, the mother of the Handcart boys: all thirteen of them. Billy-Bob, Bobby-Rae, Little Ricky, Martin and Lewis, Harpo, Groucho, Sleepy, Sneezy, Manny, Moe and Jack. Oh, of course, the Beav. Unfortunately, she had to bury all thirteen of her sons after they were tragically killed in a shoot-out at a dairy farm. The now infamous gunfight at the Parkkay Corral left her with nothing but memories. A strong woman, she has been able to survive, although most of the time she remains secluded on the sprawling Handcart Ranch, managing the family cattle business. Helena owns half the territory and never lets any one forget it.

Chief Breaking Wind (Barry) -- The Chief is the distinguished leader of the Cowpai tribe—an honorary position these days, since the entire Cowpai tribe fell victim to a mysterious disease several years ago and perished. Still, the stoic chief keeps his traditions alive, trusting that, with his help, the Cowpai will rise again. Unwillingly relieved of his tribal responsibilities, the chief has since opened a successful barber shop in town and, ignorant historical reference notwithstanding, hasn’t scalped a soul. Still, no one ever angers the Chief.

Elvira-Lynn Fekshin (Diane) -- She is the consummate soiled dove and makes no bones about it, so to speak. She’s known throughout the territory, and there’s even that famous saloon song written about her—My Heart Burn for You, and Other Places, Too. She is the proud madam of the Pigeon Ranch, the best little you-know-what in Roadkill. Since Judge Waylon Payne is one of her steadiest customers, the law does a good job of looking the other way. To look at her now, you’d never guess that she was born in the gutter and suffered a sickly childhood, battling everything from consumption to bubonic plague. But now she spread, among other things, sunshine wherever she goes.

Wyatt Hertz (Lou) -- The most famous lawman in the West, by far, he kept the wild frontier town of Roadkill under tight control, keeping the locals in line with an iron fist of fear. That is, until a shotgun blast caught him in the tender parts a year ago. Legend has it that Wyatt was ambushed by the vicious Partridge Family gang. He didn’t stand a chance. Now retired, Judge Waylon Payne is the reigning sheriff and justice of the peace. Wyatt is now operating a lucrative rent-a-horse business. He has never lost a gunfight, and some folks believe that he could take out an entire gunslingin’ gang with a single round from his Colt six-shooter.

Dee Adela Muerte  (vaguely translated means "Day of Death")  (Jane) -- Adela, as she is known by her friends, is a Mexican beauty with the most pious of spirits. She is, however, plagued by bad luck. She’s thrice-widowed—each time as a newlywed. Her first husband, a local politician, died shamefully during one of his secret outings to the Pigeon Ranch. Hr second husband was the town pastor and died while preaching; her third, the town undertaker, keeled over from exhaustion while planting the thirteen Handcart boys. Now poor Adela is left to deliver Sunday sermons and forced to become town under. Still, she knows that she will rise above her misfortune. Until then, she’ll continue to wear her black mourning veil.

Elias Truist-Heath (said quickly: “He lies through his teeth”) (John G.) -- As a young up-and-coming heartthrob gunfighter, he dazzles spectators with his quick draw and a spin from his guns. When he’s not showing off his slinging skills, he demonstrates his pugilistic prowess. The best brawler west of the Mississippi, he comes out of every fight with nary a scratch. He was orphaned as a lad, but taken under the firm, wise hand of Judge Waylon Payne. After a patriotic stint with the US Cavalry, he returned home to Roadkill and to the women who adore him.

Handy Tohavearound—Town Bailiff and “Director” (Molly)

Costuming was done by individual characters. Adela and Helena wore mostly black as they were in mourning—Adela for her three husbands and Helena for her thirteen sons. Adela further wore a “mourning” veil. Butch had her hair braided, wore jeans, a gun belt, and a straw cowboy hat. Wyatt and Elias were attired in western garb, as was P’Elvis, although he entered with sun glasses and introduced himself with a Pressley voice. Eliva wore a black slinky dress accessorized with lots of red, including a red boa. Her earrings were dollar signs. During the breaks, she amused herself by flirting with the male spectators.

This was the first time most of the characters had ever scene one of these productions. All characters had certain information that had to be said during the course of the evening—various clues to personalities and possible reasons to kill the Judge (all had motive). In addition to the necessary information, one could improvise as much as they wished. Although one cannot lie, one can redirect the information to cast aspersion on another character or change the subject altogether or not answer “yes” or “no.” For instance, when Handy was asked if she wore a size 5 shoe (a clue in the solving) by a spectator before the “play” got started, she answered, “These are not my shoes.” A truthful answer, but avoiding the actual question…

Only four of us knew whodunit—Molly, Steve, Lynne and John. (Lynne has now taken part in this adventure three times as three different woman characters). The rest of the cast did not know until the very end. A group of over sixty (including the District Deputy and several former District Deputies) gathered for this evening of madness, laughter, silliness, food and fun. We invited the “audience” to tell us who the guilty person might be. They did not come up with a conclusive answer.

The cast did an unbelievably great job.  They are all good at improv

Overwhelmingly, the group asked for another “murder” in the fall.

Good job on the idea, John. Great way to try “something new and different.”

As for me, I love doing these. But, it seems every time I invite folks to our house to have an evening of fun, I end of “producing” the whole thing for a group.