My friend Lynne's Dad passed late on October 18, 2011.
When Lynne and I met several years ago, my Dad had already passed. His name had never come up until one day when I was babbling about my Dad and mentioned him as "Lee." Lynne jumped in and said "What's your Dad's name?" Leland, why! "That's my Dad's name too!" We found that it was incredible that two friends had fathers with this most unusual name. We also soon figured that their birth dates were both in February.
A few years later I met Lee. Lynne and her family (husband, daughter and father) came to our home to dine. He oozed with charm. (I have told him many times that he was a charming dude). He told Lynne that with my bizarre sense of humor, I was "kookie!" This is a label I wore well in his presence. It seems that over the years I often made him laugh.
I was raised to call my friends' parents (and other "older" folks) "Mr." and "Mrs." unless asked to do otherwise. I called him Mr. for many years. Finally, one day he told me to call him "Leland." Although, most other people called him Lee, I did not receive permission to be quite that casual. So, even though in my mind, he was Lee, I called him by the name that he had asked me to call him...Leland.
He was a veteran in two branches of service--the Marine Corps and the Air Force. His last job was that of a printer.
Through an unfortunate set of circumstances, he landed in a VA facility about three years ago. He had been scammed by a bimbo (this is all too prevalent to much too many elderly people, especially Vets) and went to the VA to get help. His health was beginning to fail; they hospitalized him. Eventually, however, this became his permanent home. His hope was always to get a new truck and move on. But, life did not give him this opportunity.
About six weeks ago, he moved to the Hospice floor. His lungs were starting to give out on him. His brother came from New England to visit. His oldest granddaughter spent several days. And his daughter stayed with him for two weeks. Everyone told her to go home, which she finally did.
Steve and I visited him a couple of weeks ago. We had a great visit with him. He was a brother Mason, so Steve and Leland were able to discuss this a bit. Steve had witnessed what he thought was an unusual EA and told Leland all about it. And, of course, I was there for "entertainment value." He looked good, laughed a lot and smiled even more.
Saturday evening, Lynne got a call. We were working. Lynne is a demonstrator of "pioneer trades"--basket weaving, weaving, inkle weaving, and a whole bunch of other things. The "pioneer" village in which we were working includes weavers of many items--baskets, cloth, belts--spinners, a cotton ginner, a tanner, a potter, a wood carver, a Civil War US Navy lecturer who brings an amazing collection of armaments and a store complete with old fashioned (low-tech, no-tech) toys. Dad had taken a downward turn. It would behoove Lynne to come in the near future. Lynne had had a rough weekend up to that point. Her husband had been very ill on Friday. Those of us who were with Lynne voted that she should not drive the almost four hundred-ish miles until Monday morning. She really needed to go home and check on her husband. And, hopefully, get some rest. We won. And definitely correct in our analysis.
Monday morning, I left the event (see separate posting early next month) and drove home. She called. She was about an hour behind me. I live seventy miles or so from Dad, so she often uses our house as either a stop-off point or a motel. She shares the room and bed with Betsy--one of our cats. They seem to have a good repore. I drove to the facility and met her there. It seemed as though his passing was eminent. I spent the afternoon with them.
Lynne spent forty hours by his side, holding his hand most of the time. His three granddaughters called and Lynne held the phone to his ear so that they could say their good-byes. By this time, he was not verbally communicating, but his expression changed. One knew he was hearing them. Serenity!
When he passed near eleven p.m., Lynne called. Steve and I went to the VA. I did not think that she could drive back to our house with the stress and late hour. Also, a good call.
That's when I found out exactly how wonderful that facility was. One of his nurses, Irene, had sung "Amazing Grace"! I had missed this, but they had waited for me for everything else. And then the very dignified ceremonies started. He had been drapped with a red, white and blue hand made quilt which included the names of all veterans at that were residents of that VA facility who passed in 2011. At the end of the year, the quilt will be hung in their memorial hallway. The night nurses and staff came in. An electric candle was lit and would stay lit in their hallway on a special stand for three days with a card stating his name and service. They presented Lynne with a red silk rose and told her what a privilege and honor it had been for them to "serve" him as a veteran and person.
The honor guard is on call 24/7. From what we understand, most members of the guard detail are residents of the VA facility. The gentleman issuing the commands was dressed with a red shirt and a red, white and blue tie and lived locally. This gentleman's wife, we were told, is a veteran, too. So, she understands his leaving at strange hours.
Another gentlemen (a resident) was a double amputee in a wheel chair with a sparkling personality. He offered his hand to shake to Lynne and me. Lynne is a hugger (me, not so much). So, he ended up getting a hug from both of us.
It tugged at my heart to see these gentlemen saluting Lynne's Dad as he moved to the elevator. It will send chills up my back for years to come.
The floor on which he resided for the last three years (minus the last several weeks) presents a memorial service for those who passed in the last month. Messrs. Taylor, Morrett, and Turner were honored. Dr. L. Kendrick D. Min, the officiating Chaplain, is a retired navy veteran who also had done some early boot camp training at age nineteen at Army Base, Fort Dix, New Jersey, where Steve also did his boot camp. The service was simple, very nice and very moving. We pledged to the flag with an honor guard (men who were confined to wheel chairs). We listened to a hymn sung by one of the residents in a beautiful baritone voice. We cried. And had a couple of chuckles. Present arms! Reflection time for each of these vets were given to other men on the floor and family members. Taps!
When Lynne and I visited the Veteran Affairs officer last week, he told us about a veteran who recently passed who had been on the Bataan Death March in the Philippines during World War II. We are guessing that perhaps it was Mr. Morrett even though the VA officer was very careful not to mention a name. I find it wonderfully amazing that someone who survived that horrific time lived to be in his nineties. My mother went to school with someone who had been on that march. He passed in his early forties (I believe). His early demise was blamed on the bad treatment that he received from the enemy.
The Lake City VA is one of the most beautiful (the personalities of the personnel) and caring places that I have ever seen. I think that because of its small town nature, it is probably one of the best places to reside outside one's own home. Even members of staff not directly concerning the health of the veterans are wonderful. Two members of the engineering department (Lyn and Michael) helped us with Lee's motorized chair. I cannot say enough good things to say about the facility and staff.
The floor on which he resided for the last three years (minus the last several weeks) presents a memorial service for those who passed in the last month. Messrs. Taylor, Morrett, and Turner were honored. Dr. L. Kendrick D. Min, the officiating Chaplain, is a retired navy veteran who also had done some early boot camp training at age nineteen at Army Base, Fort Dix, New Jersey, where Steve also did his boot camp. The service was simple, very nice and very moving. We pledged to the flag with an honor guard (men who were confined to wheel chairs). We listened to a hymn sung by one of the residents in a beautiful baritone voice. We cried. And had a couple of chuckles. Present arms! Reflection time for each of these vets were given to other men on the floor and family members. Taps!
When Lynne and I visited the Veteran Affairs officer last week, he told us about a veteran who recently passed who had been on the Bataan Death March in the Philippines during World War II. We are guessing that perhaps it was Mr. Morrett even though the VA officer was very careful not to mention a name. I find it wonderfully amazing that someone who survived that horrific time lived to be in his nineties. My mother went to school with someone who had been on that march. He passed in his early forties (I believe). His early demise was blamed on the bad treatment that he received from the enemy.
The Lake City VA is one of the most beautiful (the personalities of the personnel) and caring places that I have ever seen. I think that because of its small town nature, it is probably one of the best places to reside outside one's own home. Even members of staff not directly concerning the health of the veterans are wonderful. Two members of the engineering department (Lyn and Michael) helped us with Lee's motorized chair. I cannot say enough good things to say about the facility and staff.
Lee will have a memorial service with Masonic rites sometime in the near future at the Masonic Lodge closest to Lynne and her family. His final resting place will be at a National cemetery. Semper Fi! Rest in Peace, Leland!
